I had planned on leaving
I failed to go outside
I can feel my own breathing
Was I scared was I trying to hide
I swear that I know that I tried
Why do I put myself through this
I control myself at least I did
Where were you when I needed it
What did I miss
I had planned on moving
I'm stuck on coming soon
I thought I had it in me
I thought I had it in me to move
Now I'm stuck here with nothing to lose
I'm home
I'm still sick to my stomach
I am confused
I swear I saw it coming
It always comes too soon
You said my bed was such a safe place
Well it's Hell on Earth for me
I wait to never wake up
It's hard enough sleep
Did you see it coming
Are you still confused
I walked and you were running
and you ran right out of my view
I swear I would never say I loved you
In the shower I broke my word
I promised that I would never harm you
Now I realize that that was absurd
I'm still sick to my stomach
I'll be better soon
Self help is around the corner
For now I'll be alright
In March I dropped my job and left town for awhile to help better understand my intentions for my future. At the end of what ended up being a 2 week road trip, I found myself spending a lot of time in Kansas City with Alexander McClain from Bears and Company. He is my friend, my mentor, my role model, and someone who changed my life that week. These were recorded in his garage, 2 from me, 2 from him, and we just let ourself be as vulnerable and unperfected as we could be.
credits
released May 14, 2015
Thank you Nick Ferran for the beautiful album artwork.
Thank you Jake Kalmink for mixing and mastering this album to sound just like we heard in our heads when we were pouring our hearts out in a smokey garage.
Thank you Alexander McClain for giving me your time, guidance, and your friendship.
Thank you Luke Nowland (yes myself), for finally understanding the purpose of self confidence, and choosing to embrace it fully.
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